Anatomy Of A Disease

Speaking of Zombie Apocalypse....I want to go on record to state that the Zombie disease as portrayed on most of the modern Zombie movies is best classified as an eating disorder.  Perhaps the eating disorder is combined with Alzheimer's and leprosy, but the primary classification would still be an eating disorder.

As played in most of the modern TV shows and popular movies, the zombie apocalypse is preceded by some type of escape of a military grade virus into the general populace. This is some type of man-made virus.  So exactly which Government entity decided to mix leprosy, Alzheimer's, and eating disorders upon the general public is pretty much a mystery. My thinking is that it was not Government at all, it would have to be Monsanto or Foster Farms or another one of the big food processing companies.  They would be the entities most likely benefiting by a bunch of insatiably hungry and brain dead immortals. Think of the profit margin generated!  Beasts who must eat non-stop, but can not digest what they eat, and have no memory or brain function to curb their desires.

As an eating disorder, one can't stop feeling a bit sorry for the zombies.  They have no capability to withstand their addiction. They can not die without a critical blow to the cranium. There digestion track is shot. One thing never depicted in the movies is the huge zombie excrement problem that must be generated by all the half digested meat they consume.  Zombie crap every where festering. "Lift up the seat", "don't forget to flush"....all those learned behaviors are thrown out the window. Now it's a life of endless kill, eat, crap, and kill again. The endless cycle, the depravity.

Not to mention, these creatures are living in a world much like a Salton sea. Water water everywhere, but not a drop to drink. Their Salton land is filled with other zombies, none of whom are digestible. Their disease prevents them from turning upon their mates for satisfying their unsalable urges. It is only fresh, uninfected meat that they must have.  Like they are on the Atkins or Paleo diet or some such thing. Poor creatures!

These programs never show what would happen to a zombie dining on zombie meat.  You would think some scientist or crackpot would have thought of this on the shows.  Dress some captured zombies up as mortals, spray them with fresh meat smell, and release them into the general zombie community like a Trojan horse.  What exactly happens when zombies dine on other zombies. Is there a zombie code that prevents this? Could it start a chain reaction, or a Zombie Zombie apocalypse.

Still, it all goes back to Foster Farms and Monsanto.  How did they intend to profit from the mess they made. It is obvious, they can make food products now without any government oversight, using any fresh meat source,  and no middlemen.  Pure profit.  But it's not like they can go back and charge the zombies for food once the live humans run out.  The zombies don't have Paypal or any other means to purchase from Monsanto after the last live human has gone. But rest assured, these companies must have thought this out and have an angle somewhere.  Some warehouse is sitting out there full of Zombie Soylent Products that are going to make someone somewhere very very rich. As they say, follow the money.

Cheers, nca

Don't Forget the Yellow Duck

I am contemplating on the two Tabasco bottles before me on my breakfast table.  The mild green Tabasco had a best by date of 2015, and a batch creation date in 2014.  Roughly, the life span suggested was about 18 months.

The traditional Tabasco bottle had a best by date of 2018.  This one also had a batch creation date of 2014. The traditional Tabasco could outlive the mild by about 2 years.

This is not something to dwell upon.

But still I do.

Why would the traditional  Tabasco be able to outlive the mild green by 2 years minimum?  I thought the meek were to inherit the earth?  Yet the hot stuff will outlive the mild by 200%.

So, what makes up the difference?  Ingredients?  The Traditional contained vinegar, red peppers, and salt.

Huh, this is what I insist on putting on my eggs? Really? Somehow I thought there was more to Tabasco.

But I digress.

The mild green had....hmm.... vinegar, jalapenos, preservatives, and salt. Preservatives, you fail me! Jalapenos? You guys have a shorter lifespan than red peppers? What's the deal?

At the current pace I use Tabasco....those bottles are going to vastly exceed the best by date by years.  I put maybe 4 drops on my omelette per use, tops. Well, ok....shed a couple of drops on my hash browns too. Still, at 5 ounces.....these bottles are going to outlive  the best by date by a decade or two. A waste of sauce really.  Somebody at Tabasco should think about that....what is the point of selling a bottle of Tabasco that has no chance of being used before it's best by date?

I was sort of counting on Tabasco as being one of the go to condiments in case of a Zombie apocalypse. Think about it, there must be thousands of refrigerators in America with a bottle of Tabasco sitting there.  And really, Tabasco does not even need to be refrigerated, just stored in a cool dry place.  This beats the heck out of Ketchup and Mayonnaise, both of which would spoil in a post apocalypse refrigerator world.  Most definitely, it a zombie apocalypse your best bets for condiments are Soy Sauce, Mustard, and Tabasco. Be sure to have those on your looting list. The Tabasco will take you farther into the apocalypse though, since you only need a few drops.  It will help those Lima beans and creamed corn you loot go down smoother.  You must know that the stuff you will loot out of neighborhood pantries will be the odd weird stuff that no one really wants to eat. The same stuff you donate to can food drives. There is a reason why no one ever donates the good stuff, that all gets eaten first.

As you prepare the looting list, make sure it is traditional Tabasco and not the mild. The longer time before 'best by' is achieved would advocate for that.

Perhaps they should start adding a new designation to the labels.  Along with best by dates, perhaps we should include the date for last possible use date in a zombie apocalypse. I mean, who is going to care about 'best' in those dire times?

The one problem I can see with the Tabasco...it comes in glass bottles.  Is that really a good idea in times of apocalypse?  Note to self, loot list, substitute El Pato for Tabasco if there is a choice.  Don't go into a apocalypse without the yellow can with a duck.

Cheers, nca

Sounder

I have been searching for such a long long time. And, for the most part, very patient.

...and so I believed. Believe. And so I am to believe. Belief is something you never ever really get to see and touch and taste and smell and hear?

Seeker, Sounder. There must be something I missed.  A purpose. A person?  Something to live and to die for.

How do you know you found something that you don't even know you are looking for. Where is that Eureka moment when you realize, this is what I was looking for?

Not so much, 'which way?' should I go....but more 'where am I going and how will I know when I go there?'. 

I read something on the wall at the old Downtown Phoenix YMCA that made sense to me. Made sense at the time, and oft quoted:

It seems right to me.  But I know for sure, with conviction, that the more I learn and grow and mature, the less I know.  And my questions boil down to a rich, thick bubbly broth of ....


Cheers, I think. 
nca










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