My Favorite Son-In-Law

My Mother-In-Law passed away a few days ago. As I knew it would be, this has been a very difficult time for my wife and daughters. Joyce was a loving and influential woman, indeed the family matriarch in every sense of the word. Before she passed away, she lived with us for a year and 1/2, moving back to her home about 3 months ago.

My daughters, their cousins, my wife and her brothers may have many more great  memories of her then I do. As a son-in-law, my relationship was not as close, and I may not claim to be as marked by her passing as they are. However, I have only terrific memories of her.

It would have been easy enough for her to not like me from the beginning. I was from a different background and a different religion. I was an outsider in every sense of the word. And I had eloped with her daughter on a very storm Thanksgiving weekend without even a word to the wise to her Mother or family.

Sure, when we told her, she was devastated and hurt. But I was her daughter's husband and soon the father of three of her Grand kids. So at all times she treated me with respect and kindness. A funny story my wife and I remember from that first month of marriage was Christmas Eve we were at my mother-in-laws house (this was very soon after the bomb shell of our elopment was made) and my wife and I had fallen asleep on the carpet beside her Christmas tree. In the middle of the night she came in and covered us with blankets.

She tried to help at times too, though I was too proud to take much help. I had to learn to swallow my pride when she desired to shower my daughters and wife with gifts and luxuries my salary could not afford. Both of my wife's parents tried to help us through struggles as best they could. I eventually was able to deal with these small blows to my pride by assuring myself that their help was for the benefit of my kids, not me.

After many many years, through much heartache to my wife and her family, I eventually joined the church of my wife and her family. This was of great joy to my wife and her mother, as this religion places great emphasis on family togetherness and exaltation. And, over time, as I became more financially stable I was able to 'pay her back' for all her sacrifice over the years. We took her on many family trips, including Hawaii and Texas. We laughed often over the Hawaiian name our family, including my Mother-In-Law,  were given in Hawaii (The Liki-Liki Family) And for that 1 and 1/2 years, she lived under our roof and partook in our family life.

From her, I learned a lot about patience, and acceptance, and kindness. She was a good example of those things. As a mother and grandmother, she was exceptional. I will miss her greatly.

Cheers to EJ

From her 'Favorite Son In Law'

nca